baby doll
Currently: Almost 7 PM on a Wednesday evening in June. Closet door open, summer dresses lined up - one by one. 4 suitcases that are almost, almost empty. A bed full of summer clothes gifted by friends and two throws in lieu of a summer duvet. Shelves filled with body oils and teas and clean deodorants. Floor to ceiling windows, a desk that’s holding gua shas and face rollers.
My body is not in its usual routine. I only just started my 3 eggs and black coffee breakfast this morning. For the past week and a half, it’s been whatever carb I could get my hands on. Today was the first day where I didn’t have to hop into an Uber, or hop on to the subway, or take the train to get to and from somewhere. So I wake up with the sun, text my friend with a baby, and decide to meet her and her son at the park at 11.
I’m wearing my favourite blue Zara dress and leopard print slides. I took an everything shower and layered on a body cream and oil, and the tiniest bit of SPF 50.
“You look tanned.” My friend tells me. “It looks good. Usually you’re scared of the sun.”
“Well - half of it’s fake, but half of it’s real. I’ve been outside every day.” She’s also not wrong of me being scared of the sun. One bought of Roman heatstroke will make you rethink ever leaving the house without being hydrated and layered with SPF 50 +.
“How was the move?”
“Perfect, honestly. I’ve been taking my time with everything, but I love being able to display my beauty products in my home.”
My last apartment had very minimal bathroom storage, hence why my primary decor was skincare and makeup. I’ve lined up my current skincare products behind the mirror in my bathroom, and nothing makes me happier than opening up the cabinet to see my collection.
We watch her son become mesmerized by a little girl dumping sand onto the playground. She’s wearing pink shorts with tiny pink bows on them and matching shoes.
“I like your outfit.” My friend tells the little girl. She smiles, and her mom comes up beside me.
“I saw you from over there.” Her mom tells me. “We’re almost wearing the same thing - you’re like my doppelganger. But probably the more rested one”
This woman is also in a tiny blue summer dress but instead of leopard print slides, she’s wearing leopard print sneakers. She also has dark brown hair, a great tan, and is balancing sunglasses on her head.
“Oh my god, we do look the same.” Down to the leopard print shoe choice.
She then tells us how her daughter is an Aries. “She is 2 and has a lot of…energy.” Her daughter is now beating a little boy in a race to climb up the jungle gym.
“I love that. We need more Aries women.” She then leaves to keep a closer eye on her daughter.
I look at my friend. “Can I tell you something?”
“Do I need to cover his ears?” She jokes.
“My body’s been doing something weird. I think my period is late. I thought it came last Friday morning, but then it disappeared by the afternoon.”
She looks at me. “Has that ever happened to you before?”
“No. Never. But I also have lived in three different apartments over the last week. And apparently, when you change sexual partners, it can throw your entire cycle off.”
“That’s a thing?”
“Yes.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes.”
“Okay I need to Google that. But wait, do you think -”
Both of us are completely calm.
“I mean, the chances are slim but -”
“Well they’re never entirely slim.”
“No they’re not. And I’m like, okay, I’m going to be 33 in 2 weeks. It’s not like I’m 16. It’s not such a scary thought.”
“No exactly, like - you two are both adults. You know what happens.”
“I don’t know - he made some comment, too. He was like “I wonder if you’ll get pregnant by the end of this week.”
“Oh my god. He put it into the universe.”
“And the weird thing was - neither of us had a strong reaction to it. He said it so casually and in passing, and I didn’t even really react to it either. I think I said, “Ya. I was thinking about that too.” Which, I was. And then we both fell asleep.”
She’s laughing but shaking her head. “I don’t know how you’re so relaxed about this. Like I would want to take a test immediately and know.”
“I’m waiting until Friday. Giving it a few more days for my body to settle into a new routine. Also, then I get paid. So then I can buy myself a pregnancy test.”
“Good idea. Those things are expensive.”
“You know what else I was thinking? It’s 2026. You don’t have to marry your baby daddy.”
“Nope. You absolutely do not. And sometimes, I think that’s better.”
“Exactly. You co-parent. You remain friends. You have your individual lives. And I just think - how fun it would be to raise a child with the girly pops - you know?”
We make our way back to her place. She makes a cute omelette to give her son.
“Motherhood teaches you so much. Like - I only just learned how to boil vegetables because of him.”
I start laughing. “I know. We’re still figuring it out, too.”