My beautiful, beautiful, loves.
We’re back on our Friday night newsletter writing routine. I am having a sleepy work day, and I skipped my daily walk and have been rotating from bed to couch. I also have this new thing where I like ending my Friday evenings with a Peroni? Who am I? I don’t know. Oh, all of this was to say that I dreamt of writing this advice column with a Peroni in hand, and a cigarette in the other for the ultimate aesthetic - but, instead, I am lying on my couch, drinking my third litre of water and eating grapes because - we decided to be glowing goddesses instead.
I wanted to do an advice column for so long (mainly because I was getting tired of talking about myself) - but also, it’s a way for me to directly connect to you. I feel like this newsletter has given me an extra 20 close friends, and I just feel like I need to be involved in your life as you are in mine. I am HONOURED that people are trusting me with their questions, and not only that - you trust me to give you advice in general. And this is why I couldn’t have my Friday evening Peroni, because I wanted to be in the best, most hydrated state to talk to you.
I have to be honest - I had the best time of my life the other night when I asked you to submit q’s. There was a little love triangle that appeared in my DMs / people were unveiling their deepest, darkest secrets / everyone was asking me what to do about their unavailable crush - but NO ONE asked me about my self tanner routine. So we have lots of content to span out for the next little while. And I will 100% be throwing in a self tanning routine.
Anyways, I started writing the answers to some, and realized that because I am a Gemini (my excuse for everything), I cannot keep my advice to a few sentences. So, low and behold, if you ask a question, you will get a newsletter dedicated to you. And this is so I can relate things back to myself - lol - but also - because I feel like there are ways we can all relate to each other’s questions.
Anyways, thank you for joining me, thank you for reading, and as always - I just really, really, love you.
How to become the girl everyone wants in a new city where you know no one.
Ok, I have to say - I am obsessed with this question, because it sounds like the title of a book that I would love to write / own. There are so many things I want to say about “becoming the girl everyone wants” - but for the sake of attention spans, I will do my best to keep it short.
Before I give you a Very Important Task, the secret to becoming the girl that everyone wants is this: Who do YOU want to become? In your ideal world - what are you creating everyday? What are you wearing? Who’s around you? What have you always dreamed of doing?
If you’ve already taken the step of moving to a different city, completely on your own and away from your family/friends/safety nets, then you already are THAT girl. Because you have the confidence to go after what you want. And it’s for you, it’s not for anyone else.
So, instead of focussing on what you think others want - because let’s be honest, it’s a general known rule that not EVERYONE will want/like us (but let’s hope that like, maybe 98% will) - focus the energy on making your dreams a reality. Decorate your new apartment in the city. Paint, write, read, drink a lot of Lambrusco and buy a lot of new dresses from Zara. Walk 20,000 steps, find your new neighbourhood grocery store, coffee shop, and bakery. Become friends with everyone who works there in the hopes of getting free things. Fall in love with this new life you have chosen for yourself.
Ok and I know - this is the advice that some people will roll their eyes at. Fall in love with yourself first etc. etc. etc. But it’s true. I feel like so many of us put our value and our worth on who wants us / if we’re in a relationship / if we’re dating someone etc. etc. etc.
And for what? There’s times in your life that you will be in a relationship, and there’s times in your life where you will be single. And there will be happy and miserable times during both of the stages of life.
So, until then - we will drink our 4L of water and eat a carton of grapes, walk through life glowing and unbothered, and sleep soundly at night knowing that everything and everyone will always fall into our lives at the right time.
You’re already the girl everyone wants.
And before I go, I have to assign EVERYONE my Very Important Task.
This is to be completed on a Friday night, if you’re in a new city or not:
Step One: Google “Best bars in ___” - But be specific in your bar aesthetic. We want a new, chic, beautiful vibe for our IG/life/etc., because we deserve it.
Step Two: Pour yourself Prosecco and FaceTime your friends for outfit polling. I will always, always, always vote for the black slip dress. And obviously our leather on top if you're in a cooler climate.
Step Three: Hop into an Uber. Arrive at said bar. Because you are a party of one, they will seat you directly at the bar - which is exactly what you want. And on your walk to the bar, you will repeat to yourself “everyone is obsessed with me.” Heads will turn, people will wonder: “Wow is she a food critic? / Blogger? / Dating the manager?” etc. etc. I guarantee you - no one is feeling sorry for the beautiful girl in the black dress. You’re truly free to be whoever you want to be.
Step Four: Order. Order a drink (minus anything with mezcal - because we’re not here to hallucinate) or order a meal, or order a drink and a meal. Eat and drink alone. Write. Read. Talk to the bartender. Tell them you just moved here (if they're a good vibe). Maybe they’ll become your new best friend. Maybe a love interest. Maybe a muse. Maybe they'll protect you from unwanted interactions, or maybe they'll introduce you to wanted interactions. Maybe all of it. The possibilities are endless.
Step Five: I mean, I can't tell you what to do with the ending of your night. Going home with the bartender? Amazing. Going home with someone else? Amazing. Going home and listening to your 3AM playlist while eating a package of prosciutto? Um - always my ideal night tbh.
Anyways, all I know is that the point of this evening was not to meet someone - but the point was to make you feel like you can own any situation, any room you walk into, and any Friday night you find yourself alone in a new city.
K, I had the best time writing this. It was needed after my 4 week crying spell.
See? Our questions do help each other in some way.
Ugh, I love you all.
Have a beautiful Sunday my friends,
Emily