Friends,
Something magical happened over the holidays.
My Internet friend Karlie Flood had her 23 Things I Learned in 2023 post go viral, in which, she shouted out my 23 Lessons from 2023, in which, caused me to think my own Substack was getting hacked because I had almost 100 new subscribers over the course of two days.
My best friend goes, “I love how your first thought was that you’re getting hacked, and not because people actually want to subscribe to you.”
Oh, the stories we tell ourselves.
I realized that I had never really done a proper introduction of myself on my newsletter. I never really know what to say when people ask, “So. Tell me about yourself.” But I will try my best.
Hi. My name is Emily. I am a writer, and I am a Gemini. I find these two things go hand in hand, and explain a lot already. I live inside my head, which, is a blessing on most days, but a curse on others (mainly when I’m hungover).
I moved from Toronto to Italy almost three years ago, on a complete whim. I booked a one way to Rome, a trip that I had originally planned for four days/three nights. Two nights into that trip, I met another Internet-turned-real life friend, who helped me realize that I could easily make that la dolce vita dream into a living reality. Angels in the form of strangers.
My mom passed away in May of 2017. Specifically, May 15, 2017, the day after Mother’s Day. I felt like an alien after she died. In fact, I still feel like an alien often. But there’s something about losing that pillar in your early twenties that will do a number on you.
I talk about her often in my writing. It’s where our relationship exists now. Her name is Rose. She had these sparkling hazel eyes and the Kris Jenner haircut. She wore a lot of black and a lot of blazers. She taught special education for over thirty years. She loved her morning coffee and turning the pages of her morning newspaper. She loved red nails. She was the smartest woman I ever knew.
“Emily. Life is a lot easier when you’ve figured out people’s numbers.” Meaning, when people show you who they are, believe them.
Independence. Freedom. Those were two concepts that were drilled into me at a young age.
“Remember. A marriage certificate is something that a man can take away from you. But your university degree. No one can touch that.”
I learned what real love was for the first time in 2022. And I finally understood the song title, “Before Love Came to Kill Us”. I thought the whole thing was ironic. Me, falling in love with someone who I knew I could never have. All of these years of me thinking that I had every single person figured out. Thinking that I was at an advantage by being quickly able to figure out people’s numbers.
But, one of my favourite lessons that I’ve had the privilege of learning over the past few years is this: love chooses you.
I mention him a lot in these newsletters. He goes by the name of Past Newsletters. The tattooed forearms and the furrowed brow. He is everything that you shouldn’t want, which makes him everything that you do want.
And then there’s Peter Pan. One of those situationships where you ask yourself why it’s gone on as long as it has.
And then there’s The Man At the Front. A man full of anecdotes and wisdom, who’s always a good shoulder to lean on.
All of these characters, and all of these men. Who all just happen to work at the same bar.
Do you see what I mean? A writer and a gemini. It’s never a dull moment.
I think we’re going to have fun this year.
I love you, and I’ll talk to you all very soon, I promise.
XO,
OH, before I go. I’m populating a list for our next Writing Group. In it, we write letters to our past selves, use song lyrics to help tell stories of our favourite memories, cry, laugh, love, become best friends, all of it. I cap each group at 5, and we meet for a total of 5 sessions, every second Sunday. If you’re interested in being part of the next one, let me know. You can send me a DM here.
And one more thing. I also provide full social media management/copywriting services for clients. If you’re ever in need of help for your socials/branding/copy, or are starting a business and need help launching your online presence in an aesthetically pleasing & powerful way - let me know. You can take a look at my website/portfolio here.
emily, thank you so much for writing this. i read your newsletters but getting to know you in this way is gorgeous, so much easier to connect with you. your mum sounds incredible, thank you for sharing her with us all here. <3 x
you phrased this much better but saying your relationship with your mom now exists through your writing made me cry :-)