lessons from a roman summer
it's my fourth one here l o l
Unpopular opinion: You can heal in a place that hurt you.
You just have to be fearless enough to confront your hurt head on. Because the only way out is through.
Believe that the universe will intervene, and back you up - when it needs to. Believe that the universe always believes in Your Highest Good.
Actually, the universe feels like another parent, doesn’t it? It gives us just enough rope to climb down - and when we don’t think there is any rope left, when we’re holding on for dear life, looking out into a sea of question marks below us. Thinking to ourselves: “Fuck. What’s next?” We feel a tap on the shoulder. A sign. A sign that says: “Hey. I’m here.”
Imagine if I stayed in Australia. Lol.
And even more of an unpopular opinion: You can also survive four summers in Italy with beginner level Italian. Maybe with even below beginner level. Smile, nod, and remember: buongiorno, grazie, a presto, basta.
Nothing will ever beat the feeling of remembering that you have a 2L bottle of water that has been sitting in the fridge all day, waiting for your very sweaty + wine tipsy self when you come home from an Evening in Roma.
Speaking of an Evening in Roma. When there aren’t any boys to entertain you and to help you maintain your glow: dive in and revamp your skincare routine. hyralounic always, and my new favourite ingredient: cica water.
And I’m late to this - but I am really getting into Korean skincare. Here’s my favourite store in Rome. And my favourite mask of the moment.
Am I my own best friend? Is a question to reflect on and ask yourself often.
The spontaneous day trips (and trips in general) - have the ability to change your life. I think that trips and changes in scenery remind us that there is so much out there. That there is so much life out there.
You don’t have to be the therapist friend. It’s not your job to solve other people’s problems, and it’s not your job to carry them, or feel like you need to heal them. Focus on you. It’s not selfish.
Become a regular somewhere. This isn’t a lesson that is just reserved for the summer, but it’s a lesson that is applicable for life. Do you know how much money I saved this summer on wine and pizza and supplí? Because Franco kept giving me free things? It is cheaper for me to go to Franco’s for dinner than to go to the grocery store.
Now, on that topic of becoming a regular somewhere. I realized, you can’t control what other people say or what other people think about you. When the MATF told me that the rumours at the bar were that me and PN had been involved for three years - I was upset. I was upset because A. It wasn’t true (but honestly, it should have been) and B. I was just, dying to be seen as more than just someone who hooked up with the old bar manager. I just wanted to be seen for…I don’t know. Maybe for my writing, or maybe for my other friendships there. I am not just someone’s experience. But, I learned, the most important person to believe that - is me.
Don’t be afraid to let go of things that you feel like you’ve outgrown. Actually, don’t be afraid of outgrowing things at all. I’m in this place with work where I’m questioning a lot - I’m not sure if what I’m doing is making me feel as happy or creatively inspired, as it once did. And I think everything serves a purpose. But I think, once you start to question …it’s a sign of growth. Or, maybe I just need a new project.
Help is all around you. Always remember Lana’s line: “I believe in the kindness of strangers.”
Being told that you’ve changed is the biggest compliment. And I realized, for the past three summers, someone older (and sometimes wiser) always tells me that I’ve changed by the end of August.
But I hate cutting my hair in the summer. That’s something that’s never really changed.
Another thing to ask yourself often: “What’s one thing that I’m most proud of ?”
Well, my answer to that question is this: I have let everything that’s happened to me, in the course of my life, build me. And I’m not shy to admit that anymore. On my birthday, my best friend messaged me: “You are a force to be reckoned with, and you do it all in your little white dress.” And being a force, and letting things build you, comes down to this: being real, being your 100% pazza ragazza self, being vulnerable, taking risks, and believing in that Higher Power.
We always have to believe in something, don’t we?
Happy August, my loves.
Emily