what is your idea of perfect happiness?

a re introduction to myself lol

Hi :)

In amazing news, I experienced my first dose of Substack virality with my latest newsletter (who are you, when it’s just you?) - which, to be completely honest, I was not expecting. At all. But I realized, at the gist of it - was a concept that I had been ruminating over for the past few weeks. It’s really about the idea of solitude, and reframing what it means to be alone.

We go a mile a minute. And not just with our daily lives, but with our thoughts, too. My overactive Gemini mind, living in the what-if’s and the what’s next.

I can’t even tell you how I came up with the newsletter name “Every Little Thing”. I don’t even think I had a list of titles. It was just me, sitting in front of Substack, out of pure boredom - deciding to write out my random thoughts on Valentine’s Day, all the way back in 2022.

And to quote my favourite piece of literature, Lana’s Ride Monologue - the following line is something I think about often:

We have nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired anymore - except to make our lives into a work of art.

How do we generate meaning, and how do we make our lives into a work of art - if we don’t take the time to meet ourselves?

In my writing groups, I always tell everyone that you will get what you are willing to put in. The deeper you allow yourself to go, the more beautiful and beneficial the group will feel for you. And I believe this is the same for life. The more we take the time to observe, the more we take the time to explore, the more we take the time to ask ourselves - why? Why am I reacting this way? Why do I feel the way I do? What do I love? How do I love, and why do I love? The more beautiful, and the more meaningful every little thing becomes.

I feel so lucky to have new subscribers, and new members of this community. So, in the spirit of meeting ourselves, I’ve taken a few questions off of the Proust Questionnaire (a great idea for solo date) and answered them.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

My morning coffee. Fresh flowers. A hydrating rose lip balm. A weekend with no plans. A strawberry scented roll-on perfume. A glass of sparkling wine in the afternoon for no reason. Vintage Levis and a summer wardrobe of white mini dresses. Red nails. Flirting. Oversized sunglasses. Making out. A skinny cigarette. “Did you want to go for a walk?” “My Fun” by Suki Waterhouse.

2. What is your greatest fear?

Having so much love, but not having a place to put it.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

That I will often tell myself I was “just a body” when a relationship ends with a man. And this has zero reflection on the way they treated me - but it’s more of a defence mechanism I have put in place for myself over the years. It was a way of downplaying my own feelings, making myself feel like it was less of what it was. Because I thought if I could retrain my mind to not think it was that serious, then, it wouldn’t hurt me as much. As much as I love love, I can fear it, too.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

People who put on a facade.

5. What is your greatest extravagance?

I recently bought a Hermès lipstick. Lol. I used the excuse of it being my mom’s birthday on Sunday, so technically, it’s a gift for the both of us.

6. What is your current state of mind?

Calm - and I think this is because there is still wine from last night that is running through my system. Which makes it the perfect time to answer these questions. It’s all pure hungover honesty.

7. On what occasion do you lie?

When I tune out of conversations - my go-to line is, “Wait - that’s really interesting.” Even though I stopped listening ten minutes ago.

8. What is the quality you most like in a man?

A man who is empathetic. To me, empathy is one of the highest forms of emotional intelligence, and I think one of the most beautiful traits humans can possess. When a man is empathetic, he takes other’s feelings into consideration. I can’t stand men who act like they’re untouchable.

9. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Women who don’t take themselves too seriously. I just want to laugh and giggle and be honest about girlhood and our experiences.

10. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

A layered question because I feel like I’ve had so many great loves that aren’t specifically tied to romantic partners. And each person has taught me a different facet of love. My mother was the biggest example of unconditional love, followed by my best friend. Our First Muse (OFM) showed me that you didn’t have to physically be with someone to love, to be remembered, and to be impacted by someone else’s brief presence in your life. And if I say writing is the greatest love of my life, does that make it sound like I am the greatest love of my life?

But isn’t that how it should be? We all should be the greatest loves of our own lives. The way we witness ourselves at all eras, the way we show up for ourselves.

Ugh, my friends. I will leave you here. Lorde’s Stoned at the Nail Salon just came on, and I kind of just want to be in a vibe for the rest of this Friday afternoon.

Welcome to Every Little Thing. I’m so happy you’re here.

Xo,

Emily